Days have become a blur. Not sure what am I doing. Not sure where am I going.
I can't eat. I can't sleep. I can't stop the pain beneath my chest.
I can't stop crying.
These days I wish I don't have to wake up in the morning.
I wish I could sleep on forever. I wish for the dawn of death.

How can something so right makes me feel so much pain.
My heart is bleeding. Draining every strain of happiness I have in me.
I feel unhappy. I feel like I haven't been happy for a long time.
Truly happy. The kind of happiness that needs no mask, needs no concealing.
I'm tired of putting on a mask every morning. Tired of being every one's miss perfect.
Tired of being sunshine. For now, I want to be like rainy days.
I want to let sadness take over me. Take over everything.
I don't want to smile when I can't smile. I don't want to laugh when I'm not happy.

I want to run away. Tired of this life. Tired of the things that makes me unhappy.
Let me run away. Let me start afresh. Let my soul be rejuvenated.
Let me be whole again. Let me breathe. Let me rest. Let me be me. For once.
Let me be happy.


/sinking in again.